Hello! Sorry I disappeared for awhile but we had finals this week and life has just been flying by. I have one more day left in Cuenca. So hard to believe that I’m already saying “goodbye” to this wonderful place and kind people. Ecuador has definitely been an incredible adventure and I am super thankful for all that I’ve experienced. Some day, when things aren’t so whirlwindish, I will attempt to process more here because I’m just not capable of “wrap up” thoughts at the moment.
Sunday morning we're heading to Peru where we'll be visiting Machu Picchu! And then hopefully on to Bolivia, but that requires a VISA. So we'll see. I'll be home for two days towards the end of May and then on to EWALU for the summer! Wow. While in Peru I won’t have many (if any) opportunities to post. However, pictures will come some day! I promise! Thanks so much for letting me share this adventure with you! Wish I could have done it justice. Peace.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
When I Smile at You…
Ask any girl in my program about whether or not they like Cuenca, and you’re almost guaranteed to hear, “I love Cuenca, but I can’t stand the guys on the street.” Granted, there are only a few select men who really drive us insane. But unfortunately, a few is all it takes…
When I smile at you… that is not an invitation to hiss and whistle at me. Gross.
When I smile at you… that is not an invitation to caress my hand and tell me you want me. Eww.
And when I smile at you… that is certainly NOT an invitation to follow me home.
A couple of months ago I stopped to rest at the church plaza a few blocks from my house. It was about 6 pm on a Sunday night and the sun hadn’t begun to set yet. At the plaza I noticed a guy with shoulder length hair and a big backpack sitting on a bench. He didn’t seem to fit in and for some reason, I was drawn to him and had an urge to plop myself down on the bench next to him and attempt to have a conversation. Mind you, this was the FIRST time I’d actually even contemplated starting up a conversation with some random guy in Cuenca. Then I came to my senses, realized that I was by myself and that it probably wasn’t the best idea. So I passed him and found my own bench to sit on. About ten minutes later I took off for home and had just turned down my street when all of a sudden I hear “Hola.” I stop, turn, look, and low and behold, it’s Mystery Man from the park. At first I was really excited and thought to myself, “Wow, I really am supposed to talk to you; you just showed up!” And then as I stared at his eyes and got incredibly creeped out by how bloodshot they were, it suddenly hit me: Mystery Man had followed me home.
What to do?! I was three houses away from my home and I live on a dead street. I really didn’t want this man to find out where I lived; but then again, I couldn’t just turn around and have him continue to follow me somewhere else. All I wanted was to be safe and sound inside my house. And then the questions began. “Who are you? What’s your name? Where are you from? Where do you live? What are you doing? Don’t you understand me?” Harmless enough, but I panicked and started walking super fast to my house. Although I didn’t respond whatsoever, Mystery Man turned Creep continued to follow me and all of a sudden I was jogging to my house, praying that I would be able to unlock the gate without fumbling and dropping the keys. Thankfully, I made it inside the gate, and as I was shutting it, Mr. Creep was right on the other side staring in. I didn’t even lock it because I was so paranoid he’d reach in and take the keys from me. Instead I ran inside the house and thanked God for that crazy alarm system it has. Then I realized that I was absolutely shaking. I was so, so, SO frustrated with myself. I’ve always had such big dreams of being super independent and being able to travel around the world all by myself. And I let that man get to me. I let him upset me and scare me. Worst of all, I let him see that he scared me.
So I wrestled with these thoughts all night long. I really had felt like I was supposed to talk to that guy, and yeah, you may think me crazy, but I don’t usually get those urges. And what was I scared away by? His creepy eyes. The fact that he’d followed me for blocks and hadn’t spoken up sooner. The fact that he continued to follow me even though I wasn’t responding to him and it was certainly obvious that he was making me feel uncomfortable. Had he not had such scary looking eyes, I probably would have stopped and talked to him. Was fear a barrier or a savior in this case? I’ll never know. I’ll never know his story. And that seriously makes me feel pretty bad.
The next morning I woke up and for two seconds seriously considered remaining in my house all day long. How do rape victims ever step outside again? And then I was like, “Good gracious, Kate. You can’t let fear consume you like this.” So I put on a hooded sweatshirt, made sure my blond hair was safely tucked away from view, pulled the strings on my hood so that only my eyes were peeping out, and pretended I was a spy as I took a different route to school.
I really didn’t want to share this story because I know people worry. No need to do that. I am fine and have not had any other ridiculous run-ins. Not to mention, I now have a game plan and it involves carrying a cell phone and always having some change in case I need to hail a taxi. But I wanted to talk about “Wonder.” And while this is nothing like amazed admiration, I really do wonder about how the men on the streets have affected me. I think twice about smiling at people now. And sometimes, I don’t even make eye contact. This is definitely not my style and sometimes I feel as if something within me has died. Have I become hardened? I’ve noticed the guys treating some local girls the same way. And they appear to respond the same way I do, with disgust. How do you go about loving people when their behavior completely repulses you? Thankfully, a dear friend reminded me of the great difference between “like” and “love”. I do not like the way these men behave. But I don’t have to like them to love them. It starts with prayer.
When I smile at you… it’s not an invitation to smooch at me. Who do you think you are? No, that does not make me feel like a queen. Does not make me feel sexy. And it certainly does not make me feel attracted to you. It makes me feel dirty. Incredibly, incredibly dirty.
When I smile at you… I’m just sharing that life is good. And that wherever you’re at, hang in there. There is hope. Have a good day.
When I smile at you… that is not an invitation to hiss and whistle at me. Gross.
When I smile at you… that is not an invitation to caress my hand and tell me you want me. Eww.
And when I smile at you… that is certainly NOT an invitation to follow me home.
A couple of months ago I stopped to rest at the church plaza a few blocks from my house. It was about 6 pm on a Sunday night and the sun hadn’t begun to set yet. At the plaza I noticed a guy with shoulder length hair and a big backpack sitting on a bench. He didn’t seem to fit in and for some reason, I was drawn to him and had an urge to plop myself down on the bench next to him and attempt to have a conversation. Mind you, this was the FIRST time I’d actually even contemplated starting up a conversation with some random guy in Cuenca. Then I came to my senses, realized that I was by myself and that it probably wasn’t the best idea. So I passed him and found my own bench to sit on. About ten minutes later I took off for home and had just turned down my street when all of a sudden I hear “Hola.” I stop, turn, look, and low and behold, it’s Mystery Man from the park. At first I was really excited and thought to myself, “Wow, I really am supposed to talk to you; you just showed up!” And then as I stared at his eyes and got incredibly creeped out by how bloodshot they were, it suddenly hit me: Mystery Man had followed me home.
What to do?! I was three houses away from my home and I live on a dead street. I really didn’t want this man to find out where I lived; but then again, I couldn’t just turn around and have him continue to follow me somewhere else. All I wanted was to be safe and sound inside my house. And then the questions began. “Who are you? What’s your name? Where are you from? Where do you live? What are you doing? Don’t you understand me?” Harmless enough, but I panicked and started walking super fast to my house. Although I didn’t respond whatsoever, Mystery Man turned Creep continued to follow me and all of a sudden I was jogging to my house, praying that I would be able to unlock the gate without fumbling and dropping the keys. Thankfully, I made it inside the gate, and as I was shutting it, Mr. Creep was right on the other side staring in. I didn’t even lock it because I was so paranoid he’d reach in and take the keys from me. Instead I ran inside the house and thanked God for that crazy alarm system it has. Then I realized that I was absolutely shaking. I was so, so, SO frustrated with myself. I’ve always had such big dreams of being super independent and being able to travel around the world all by myself. And I let that man get to me. I let him upset me and scare me. Worst of all, I let him see that he scared me.
So I wrestled with these thoughts all night long. I really had felt like I was supposed to talk to that guy, and yeah, you may think me crazy, but I don’t usually get those urges. And what was I scared away by? His creepy eyes. The fact that he’d followed me for blocks and hadn’t spoken up sooner. The fact that he continued to follow me even though I wasn’t responding to him and it was certainly obvious that he was making me feel uncomfortable. Had he not had such scary looking eyes, I probably would have stopped and talked to him. Was fear a barrier or a savior in this case? I’ll never know. I’ll never know his story. And that seriously makes me feel pretty bad.
The next morning I woke up and for two seconds seriously considered remaining in my house all day long. How do rape victims ever step outside again? And then I was like, “Good gracious, Kate. You can’t let fear consume you like this.” So I put on a hooded sweatshirt, made sure my blond hair was safely tucked away from view, pulled the strings on my hood so that only my eyes were peeping out, and pretended I was a spy as I took a different route to school.
I really didn’t want to share this story because I know people worry. No need to do that. I am fine and have not had any other ridiculous run-ins. Not to mention, I now have a game plan and it involves carrying a cell phone and always having some change in case I need to hail a taxi. But I wanted to talk about “Wonder.” And while this is nothing like amazed admiration, I really do wonder about how the men on the streets have affected me. I think twice about smiling at people now. And sometimes, I don’t even make eye contact. This is definitely not my style and sometimes I feel as if something within me has died. Have I become hardened? I’ve noticed the guys treating some local girls the same way. And they appear to respond the same way I do, with disgust. How do you go about loving people when their behavior completely repulses you? Thankfully, a dear friend reminded me of the great difference between “like” and “love”. I do not like the way these men behave. But I don’t have to like them to love them. It starts with prayer.
When I smile at you… it’s not an invitation to smooch at me. Who do you think you are? No, that does not make me feel like a queen. Does not make me feel sexy. And it certainly does not make me feel attracted to you. It makes me feel dirty. Incredibly, incredibly dirty.
When I smile at you… I’m just sharing that life is good. And that wherever you’re at, hang in there. There is hope. Have a good day.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Discrimination
One night I was skimming through the Cuenca newspaper when I came across an advertisement for some Miss Ecuador contest. I was surprised to see that of the three beautiful women in the advertisement’s photo, one was black. I pointed her out to a woman and asked if black people experience much discrimination in Cuenca. I was particularly interested in her views because she is indigenous, and as far as the social hierarchy goes, indigenous people tend to fall in the level right above black people. The woman declared that “No, no,” that blacks don’t experience any discrimination. But then she went on to tell me about how she knew of a host family who had once hosted a white student in the past who’s boyfriend had come to visit from the United States. The woman had seen him and adamantly exclaimed that he was UGLY and that the girl had never brought him around to actually meet the family. When I asked her why she thought he was ugly all she could say was that he was very black. Tears seriously sprang to my eyes and I just shook my head in amazement to her response. Riiiiiight, discrimination isn't an issue. I explained to her that in the US some people date and sometimes even marry individuals of another race. She was super surprised by this but I also pointed out that heck yes, discrimination definitely still exists in the US. It astounds me how successfully the beliefs that the Spanish conquistadors brought with them were socially constructed into the New World and that they penetrate so deeply to this day. Super scary.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Homosexuality…
My second week in Cuenca I was super crushed to hear that Heath Ledger had passed away. When I announced this to my host family they immediately recognized his name and were like “Oh yeah! Brokeback Mountain!” Only in Spanish. Host brother laughingly proclaimed that God had punished Heath for playing a gay cowboy. Gulp. Once again, it was only my second week there, and I hadn’t quite caught on that my host brother spends the majority of the time joking. I didn’t want to risk getting kicked out of the house for my views so I chose not to respond to his comment.
However, the other night host mom and I got on the topic of homosexuality once again. She was explaining how when her sons were in college, the main dangers were drinking and drugs. But nowadays, those dangers have been replaced with the danger of homosexuality. I couldn’t believe it. She went on to say that for many young men in Cuenca, it has become “fashionable” to be gay. Interesting way to put it. I wonder how she came to that conclusion and if she’s ever actually conversed with some one who’s come out of the closet. She was clearly upset and adamantly expressed that it just wasn’t Christian and that my generation had no concept of morals and values anymore. Woah! I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but Cuenca is probably the most conservative place in Ecuador and I couldn’t help but assume that her view is quite typical. She never asked for my opinion and unfortunately, I was too intimidated by her attitude to even begin to play devil’s advocate. What would she have said if I’d told her that there are actually some homosexual pastors serving in the Lutheran Church? Yikes! Watch out! Yeah, I just didn’t picture that conversation heading down a productive path whatsoever. So I stood in silence, which can sometimes be a danger in and of itself.
However, the other night host mom and I got on the topic of homosexuality once again. She was explaining how when her sons were in college, the main dangers were drinking and drugs. But nowadays, those dangers have been replaced with the danger of homosexuality. I couldn’t believe it. She went on to say that for many young men in Cuenca, it has become “fashionable” to be gay. Interesting way to put it. I wonder how she came to that conclusion and if she’s ever actually conversed with some one who’s come out of the closet. She was clearly upset and adamantly expressed that it just wasn’t Christian and that my generation had no concept of morals and values anymore. Woah! I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but Cuenca is probably the most conservative place in Ecuador and I couldn’t help but assume that her view is quite typical. She never asked for my opinion and unfortunately, I was too intimidated by her attitude to even begin to play devil’s advocate. What would she have said if I’d told her that there are actually some homosexual pastors serving in the Lutheran Church? Yikes! Watch out! Yeah, I just didn’t picture that conversation heading down a productive path whatsoever. So I stood in silence, which can sometimes be a danger in and of itself.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Jungle Journey
No, FARC did not capture us in the jungle, although we did think about making I HEART FARC shirts just in case we did cross paths. Our local guides said that from where they were in the jungle, they heard the air raid that took place a month ago when Columbian troops entered Ecuador. Crazy!
Thursday morning we flew over Mt. Cotopaxi on our way north to Quito and then on to Coca where we got on a bus and took off for a three-hour bumpy ride into the orient. However, we hadn’t even left Coca when the bus driver scratched the side of a taxicab. The taxi driver wanted to make a big deal about the missing paint on his door so he and our bus driver had a good yelling match while every man in the vicinity circled around them. We waited on the bus where the heat slowly zapped the life out of us. The two drivers must have figured something out because after half an hour we took off again, unfortunately, with much less confidence in our driver’s capabilities. We finally made it to the Aguarico River (a tributary to the Amazon) where we hopped in a motor canoe and cruised down the river for the next three hours until we reached the yacht, a fancy floating hotel. At first it felt like I was on the Maquoketa River and I realized a botanist would have killed me for that comment. But pretty soon the rainforest got thicker and the guide mentioned that if we were to traverse through the vegetation to our yacht it would take us two years… if we had a machete. The sun felt marvelous after rainy and chilly Cuenca weather. The yacht was interesting… definitely provided a hotsy totsy home base that made for probably one of the wimpiest jungle adventures in the history of jungle adventures. But hey, it was still cool.
Friday morning we woke up right away around 5:30, jumped into the motorboats again, and enjoyed the wildlife. Right away I discovered that the rainforest in person isn’t exactly like viewing the Discovery Channel. Go figure. The guides would get all excited and point at a bird flying above us and we’d all crane our heads backwards and try to figure out how this bird differed from the last bird. Yeah, they all looked the same to me. At one point we saw some branches shaking way off in the distance and got really excited because YES! Low and behold, there were monkeys! Later on that day we ventured into the jungle. Upon entering, “Wow” escaped all of our lips. It really was something else. The jungle was pretty dark and cool and the canopy was so thick you rarely saw the sky. I was surprised by the great number of palms and there was vegetation everywhere. I was super thankful for the guide because there’s no way I could ever even dream of navigating that place by myself. The insects were deafening. They were everywhere and one time I seriously had to break out the ants in pants dance because they attacked hard core and I was pulling ants off of my body the rest of the time we were walking. Some people ate some smaller ants that tasted like lemons. I passed on the ants because for some reason, larva looked more appetizing?! So I crunched on that instead. Then the guide handed me a mushroom (I think it was poisonous?!) and had me wash the larva down with some water. I won’t even pretend… it was GROSS. Yeah… I wouldn’t do so well with the jungle diet. That night we went fishing for piranhas! We didn’t catch anything but while waiting we saw some pink dolphins that were hanging around our motorboat! They didn’t jump out of the water but they would surface every once in awhile and you could tell that they were indeed a pinkish/grey color. On our way back to the yacht it was pitch black so we took out some spotlights and searched the banks for caiman (small crocs). Once again, the guide would get super excited claiming he saw glowing red eyes and we’d head for the shore and stare for awhile… nope, I didn’t see anything but heck yes I still got excited.
Saturday morning we visited the local Cofan tribe and they led us through another section of the jungle and pointed out certain medicinal plants to us. Our guide was pretty cool because he made a backpack out of palms and also showed us the scars he received from an Ocelot that had attacked him one time when he was hunting. No, the local people were not naked; in fact, while we were there they were wearing Western garb. That afternoon I contemplated jumping in the river. Now I’d been warned numerous times before coming to Ecuador that if I went swimming, I could NOT pee in the river. Rumor has it that the parasite candirú (the Terrifying Toothpick Fish) is attracted to urea. These guys are not so cool because they painfully shoot up your system and one usually has to have them surgically removed. So I was sitting on the edge of the boat with these visions running through my head, contemplating whether or not I wanted to jump into the Terrifying Toothpick Fish/Piranha/Caiman/and who knows what else infested water when all of a sudden, someone pushed me in! I couldn’t believe it! Did she not realize that one of the most dangerous products of surprise is wetting one’s pants?!?! Fortunately, not for this girl. Whew! So now I can boast that I survived the Terrifying Toothpick Fish/Piranha/Caiman/ and who knows what else infested water. We visited another Cofan tribe that night and they showed us around their turtle reproduction project. They used to hunt turtles but they’re now working to protect them. Sweet deal. Then we motor boated it back into the sunset. Pretty cool stuff.
Sunday involved more hiking through the jungle. This time our guide had us build a hut out of palms and explained that that’s what the natives sleep in when they go on overnight hunting trips. Pretty cool, though I would definitely be nervous about sharing space with the snakes. Speaking of, somehow I managed to not see a single one! I was pretty relieved but at the same time, somewhat disappointed. I’m scared to death of them, so it would have been nice to work on confronting that fear. I should probably begin with the Gardner though, and not the Anaconda. That night we went on a night hike through the jungle, armed with our flashlights to check out all of the night insects. My group was pretty jumpy and not overly enthused about creepy crawling things so it was definitely entertaining to take up the rear and listen to their squeals. When we returned in the motorboat the stars were incredibly bright and for the first time I was really able to notice how the constellations look different down here in the southern hemisphere. Some of the girls had never seen stars that bright so it was definitely a treat for them. I was amazed by our guide, who safely navigated us back to the yacht in the complete dark, down a river broken up by trees that had fallen in and were sticking out here and there.
Sunday morning we took off at nine in the morning and got back to Cuenca at nine at night. While the jungle was cool, my heart truly does belong in these majestic mountains and it was nice to be back in the cooler weather. I continue to be BLOWN away by how diverse this country is. I was probably another ten pounds heavier from the incredible food we’d eaten and absolutely covered in hundreds of bug and ant bites. Popping a squat in the jungle proved to be a bad idea as the mosquitoes definitely made a quick meal out of my bum. Oh, and I really do have more pics, the Internet here has just been ridiculously slow. Some day…
Thursday morning we flew over Mt. Cotopaxi on our way north to Quito and then on to Coca where we got on a bus and took off for a three-hour bumpy ride into the orient. However, we hadn’t even left Coca when the bus driver scratched the side of a taxicab. The taxi driver wanted to make a big deal about the missing paint on his door so he and our bus driver had a good yelling match while every man in the vicinity circled around them. We waited on the bus where the heat slowly zapped the life out of us. The two drivers must have figured something out because after half an hour we took off again, unfortunately, with much less confidence in our driver’s capabilities. We finally made it to the Aguarico River (a tributary to the Amazon) where we hopped in a motor canoe and cruised down the river for the next three hours until we reached the yacht, a fancy floating hotel. At first it felt like I was on the Maquoketa River and I realized a botanist would have killed me for that comment. But pretty soon the rainforest got thicker and the guide mentioned that if we were to traverse through the vegetation to our yacht it would take us two years… if we had a machete. The sun felt marvelous after rainy and chilly Cuenca weather. The yacht was interesting… definitely provided a hotsy totsy home base that made for probably one of the wimpiest jungle adventures in the history of jungle adventures. But hey, it was still cool.
Friday morning we woke up right away around 5:30, jumped into the motorboats again, and enjoyed the wildlife. Right away I discovered that the rainforest in person isn’t exactly like viewing the Discovery Channel. Go figure. The guides would get all excited and point at a bird flying above us and we’d all crane our heads backwards and try to figure out how this bird differed from the last bird. Yeah, they all looked the same to me. At one point we saw some branches shaking way off in the distance and got really excited because YES! Low and behold, there were monkeys! Later on that day we ventured into the jungle. Upon entering, “Wow” escaped all of our lips. It really was something else. The jungle was pretty dark and cool and the canopy was so thick you rarely saw the sky. I was surprised by the great number of palms and there was vegetation everywhere. I was super thankful for the guide because there’s no way I could ever even dream of navigating that place by myself. The insects were deafening. They were everywhere and one time I seriously had to break out the ants in pants dance because they attacked hard core and I was pulling ants off of my body the rest of the time we were walking. Some people ate some smaller ants that tasted like lemons. I passed on the ants because for some reason, larva looked more appetizing?! So I crunched on that instead. Then the guide handed me a mushroom (I think it was poisonous?!) and had me wash the larva down with some water. I won’t even pretend… it was GROSS. Yeah… I wouldn’t do so well with the jungle diet. That night we went fishing for piranhas! We didn’t catch anything but while waiting we saw some pink dolphins that were hanging around our motorboat! They didn’t jump out of the water but they would surface every once in awhile and you could tell that they were indeed a pinkish/grey color. On our way back to the yacht it was pitch black so we took out some spotlights and searched the banks for caiman (small crocs). Once again, the guide would get super excited claiming he saw glowing red eyes and we’d head for the shore and stare for awhile… nope, I didn’t see anything but heck yes I still got excited.
Saturday morning we visited the local Cofan tribe and they led us through another section of the jungle and pointed out certain medicinal plants to us. Our guide was pretty cool because he made a backpack out of palms and also showed us the scars he received from an Ocelot that had attacked him one time when he was hunting. No, the local people were not naked; in fact, while we were there they were wearing Western garb. That afternoon I contemplated jumping in the river. Now I’d been warned numerous times before coming to Ecuador that if I went swimming, I could NOT pee in the river. Rumor has it that the parasite candirú (the Terrifying Toothpick Fish) is attracted to urea. These guys are not so cool because they painfully shoot up your system and one usually has to have them surgically removed. So I was sitting on the edge of the boat with these visions running through my head, contemplating whether or not I wanted to jump into the Terrifying Toothpick Fish/Piranha/Caiman/and who knows what else infested water when all of a sudden, someone pushed me in! I couldn’t believe it! Did she not realize that one of the most dangerous products of surprise is wetting one’s pants?!?! Fortunately, not for this girl. Whew! So now I can boast that I survived the Terrifying Toothpick Fish/Piranha/Caiman/ and who knows what else infested water. We visited another Cofan tribe that night and they showed us around their turtle reproduction project. They used to hunt turtles but they’re now working to protect them. Sweet deal. Then we motor boated it back into the sunset. Pretty cool stuff.
Sunday involved more hiking through the jungle. This time our guide had us build a hut out of palms and explained that that’s what the natives sleep in when they go on overnight hunting trips. Pretty cool, though I would definitely be nervous about sharing space with the snakes. Speaking of, somehow I managed to not see a single one! I was pretty relieved but at the same time, somewhat disappointed. I’m scared to death of them, so it would have been nice to work on confronting that fear. I should probably begin with the Gardner though, and not the Anaconda. That night we went on a night hike through the jungle, armed with our flashlights to check out all of the night insects. My group was pretty jumpy and not overly enthused about creepy crawling things so it was definitely entertaining to take up the rear and listen to their squeals. When we returned in the motorboat the stars were incredibly bright and for the first time I was really able to notice how the constellations look different down here in the southern hemisphere. Some of the girls had never seen stars that bright so it was definitely a treat for them. I was amazed by our guide, who safely navigated us back to the yacht in the complete dark, down a river broken up by trees that had fallen in and were sticking out here and there.
Sunday morning we took off at nine in the morning and got back to Cuenca at nine at night. While the jungle was cool, my heart truly does belong in these majestic mountains and it was nice to be back in the cooler weather. I continue to be BLOWN away by how diverse this country is. I was probably another ten pounds heavier from the incredible food we’d eaten and absolutely covered in hundreds of bug and ant bites. Popping a squat in the jungle proved to be a bad idea as the mosquitoes definitely made a quick meal out of my bum. Oh, and I really do have more pics, the Internet here has just been ridiculously slow. Some day…
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